Scenes from the Past
by sesshouluver
Summary: The return of a beast from the past forces Merlin to reveal his greatest secret. How does Arthur take the revelation? No slash. Spoilers up to S3x11. This is a rewrite!
1. Part 1

**Rewrite:** I have decided to rewrite this story because I found errors in it and I also thought there were some points I could have touched on that I didn't. So now it's a two chapter story and hopefully some questions that weren't clear before have been answered.

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**A/N:** Just to warn people that there are spoilers in this story a huge number of it. No slash. Also the spellings for certain words are Canadian, just a forewarning.

**Spoilers: **Up to Season 3 episode 11

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Merlin".

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**Scenes from the Past – Part 1**

They were riding through the forest in search of another beast that was plaguing the villagers, Merlin, Arthur and a few Knights. It was supposed to be a reconnaissance mission, where they were to find the creature's lair and hopefully what type of creature then head back to Camelot.

The only reason why Uther hadn't decided to go ahead and kill the creature once it was found was because one of the only villagers that survived the attack said it had disappeared into thin air. Of course the villager couldn't be counted on for much since she had been terrified and in shock. She could barely string two words together. However, they were able to figure out that it had a taste for humans and it could disappear.

This obviously meant the creature was magical in nature. So the plan was to figure out what the creature was and bring the information to Gaius, who would then find out what it was and how to kill it. Merlin was a little apprehensive. The forest was steadily getting foggier and the air around them seemed charged with magic.

Unfortunately, he couldn't tell Arthur that, not for lack of trying though. Merlin had tried to subtly tell Arthur it might be a bad idea to go in so openly. The conversation had gone something like this:

Merlin started tentatively, "Arthur, maybe this isn't such a good idea..."

Arthur turned, stared at Merlin and then proceeded to insult him, "Are you already afraid...before we've even seen the creature's face?" Arthur smirked, "Don't worry, you can hide behind a tree while we take care of all the hard parts!"

Merlin scowled, "I'm being serious. The forest is unusually silent..."

Arthur interrupted him, "We don't even know if this creature really is magical. Perhaps it's just something relatively big and scared the women off. Besides she was in shock she could barely tell us anything."

Merlin sighed, "She was obviously in shock for a reason. I highly doubt though that she'd make up a story like that even if she was in shock..." then he cautiously added, "You know how you're father is about magic..." Merlin's head was slightly turned away and he could see Arthur in his peripheral vision. The Prince was looking back at him with a blank stare then he turned around to glance at the other Knights before turning back to Merlin.

Arthur whispered, "My father isn't doing anything wrong, magic is evil and the people who use it deserve the punishment they receive. One more word about my father and you'll regret it! Understand!" His voice had gotten progressively angrier with each word that came out of his mouth.

Merlin nodded and kept silent after that. It was at times like these that Merlin feared his secret being revealed. Through the years the men had become friends...or at least as close to friends as they could be as a Prince and a servant. Merlin didn't want to lose the trust Arthur had in him.

Merlin already feared what Morgana's betrayal, when realized, would do to Arthur, he didn't want to add to that hurt. He had been trying doubly hard not to show his magic, especially with Morgana right in the castle with them.

With the thought of Morgana, Merlin wondered if she had anything to do with this beast. Then again she had shown no indication of knowing anything when the matter had been brought to court. Besides he didn't think Morgause would plan something so plain, for lack of a better word.

Morgause's plans normally were more intricate. No matter how much Merlin disliked her he still admired her prowess in strategy. Her plans were flawless; well the only flaw was one no one really knew about...Him. His magic is something he's been guarding from both sisters as carefully as he can.

He cannot give Morgana anymore fuel, the poisoning incident was enough. One word to Uther about him being a sorcerer and Merlin won't live to see tomorrow. It might also affect Gaius. He shook his head slightly to clear away his thoughts, he needed to concentrate. Even if the sisters weren't responsible for it the beast was still magical in nature.

They kept riding on, Merlin keeping his senses open. He saw Arthur stop his horse a little further up ahead and Merlin paused, the Knights also reigning in their steeds at Arthur's signal. Arthur slowly got off his horse unsheathing his sword in a fluid motion. The Knights followed his lead suddenly tense and alert.

Merlin slowly got off his horse and stood beside Arthur peering into the fog to catch sight of whatever it was that had Arthur's attention. Then suddenly they heard a distant roar and Merlin tensed further. The roar had sounded familiar, before he could think anymore on it Arthur turned around to address the Knights.

"Tether the horses, we'll continue on foot from here. Clearly the creature is further ahead. We'll be quiet and observe from a distance. There are about five of us...well four since Merlin doesn't count,"

Merlin gave a small, "Hey!" But didn't say much more and Arthur continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"When we get closer we'll split up and surround it but stay far away we just need a good look at the creature. We don't know what it is yet when we know for sure we'll come back better prepared to slay it. Good luck everyone!"

When the Knights started tethering the horses Arthur turned to Merlin who was moving to do the same for both the Prince's and his own horse. Arthur smirked and said, "Merlin, you clumsy buffoon, you are to stay with me and not get in my way."

With that statement the earlier tense atmosphere between the two vanished. Merlin rolled his eyes and voice dripping with disrespect said, "Of course, sire."

Once everyone was ready they made their way into the mist. The roars had stopped and Merlin far too anxious with the feel of magic around him forgot about the familiarity of the roars of the beast.

They walked on, arriving in front of a cave and Merlin was once again struck with a strange sense of déjà vu. He voiced his thoughts out loud but only for Arthur to hear, "Do you get the feeling we've done this before...?"

Arthur looked at Merlin and rolled his eyes, "Stop day dreaming and come on!"

They found many sets of large paw prints all around the area of the cave. They entered with torches and Merlin's anxiety heightened. There was something very wrong about this cave; he could feel it in his bones. He gulped as they arrived at a fork and the men split up. Merlin followed Arthur, his heart beating wildly against his rib cage, as he sensed powerful magic spread like a blanket around the cave.

They walked further and heard a loud scream followed by two others. They looked at each other and ran in the direction of the voices only to come to an utter standstill at the sight before them. The bodies of the Knights lay before a towering beast.

The beast reared up its snake-like head and roared. Merlin stared in shocked foreboding. Standing before them was the Questing Beast. Then he saw Arthur step forward cautiously, towards the roaring beast.

Arthur swung his sword at the beast and it moved away but Merlin knew it wouldn't die with just a regular sword. Merlin watched in sick fascination as the scene played out before him. It seemed as if someone had turned back time.

Everything was happening just like before. Unable to stop himself the events from the past overlapped with the one occurring in front him. He saw Arthur being bitten, him trying to use magic to save him, asking the dragon for help, Nimueh, the bargain, and at that image his mind came to an abrupt halt.

He paled; he would not go through with that again. He had no interest in going through the suffering of those few days. Besides, Nimueh was dead and he didn't know who the high priestess was now. Something in his gut told him it might be Morgause. That thought spurred him into action.

He saw the beast rear back to strike Arthur and he used magic to slow down time. He ran towards Arthur and pushed him away from the attack. They got lucky and got away unscathed.

Arthur turned and yelled at Merlin, "What are you doing? Get out of here Merlin!"

Merlin kept his eye on the advancing beast and yelled back, "Shut up Arthur! I am not going through that again. The last time had been bad enough! This time there is a distinct possibility that you will not survive!"

Merlin could feel Arthur's confusion, "Not survive...what are you talking about? Gaius already knows the cure for the Questing Beast's bite. We don't have to..." Arthur paused abruptly. Merlin kept his eyes on the beast knowing what he had to do but dreading it none-the-less.

Arthur whispered, "How did the beast die last time? I don't remember ever finding out what happened. Everyone's attention had been fixed on me and the beast had been forgotten."

Merlin was breathing heavily now, the beast reared back to attack them again and once more the boys dodged. He could feel Arthur's mind whirring. Merlin knew he would do anything to save Arthur but he couldn't help but stall. He didn't want to be executed, especially not when it was Arthur that gave the command.

He considered Arthur a very good friend and it would pain him greatly to have Arthur watch him die in hatred.

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The Prince's mind was awhirl. He didn't remember much about that fight. All he knew was that he had been attacking the beast and then darkness. That was it...what had happened?

Was this the same beast as last time? But that couldn't be, the beast would not have let his Knights and Merlin out of the cave if it had been alive. However, he doesn't remember killing it, which left only Merlin.

But Merlin couldn't fight to save his life. Something had happened and Merlin knew what that something was. He unconsciously dodged another attack from the beast and turned to ask Merlin his next question.

"Merlin what happened the last time we fought the beast?"

Merlin gave Arthur a quick, blank stare and yelled, "Arthur we don't have time for that now! Give me your sword!"

Now Arthur looked at Merlin like he'd gone mad and he said as much. Merlin just shook his head and turned to look at the beast that seemed to have gotten impatient. It was running at them full tilt. Arthur scrambled to get up and bring his sword down in defence when he felt the sword being forced out of his hands.

He watched in sick fascination as the sword flew straight at the beast and then turned to see Merlin beside him with a hand out-stretched saying something in the ancient language. A light in his peripheral vision pulled his attention away from Merlin to the sword which, now ablaze in blue fire, pierced the beast.

It let loose a deafening roar as it struggled. The men covered their faces from the bright light as the beast gave a final roar, stumbled and then fell on its side dead. Its cries echoed eerily around cave in the heavy silence.

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Merlin kept his eyes carefully away from Arthur. He did not have the courage to look into Arthur's eyes and see the hurt and betrayal that would surely be there. He kept his eyes on the floor and he heard Arthur's feet shift to turn to look at him.

Merlin swallowed heavily his face paling as he cautiously chanced a glance at Arthur. He was terrified that much was certain. His fear grew to exponential proportions when he saw Arthur's blank stare. Heart hammering in his chest Merlin awaited his sentence.

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Arthur didn't know what to do. His normal attitude would have been to throw the perpetrator into the dungeons or even just simply run him through with his sword. But this was Merlin.

'_Sorcerer'_

No not a sorcerer it was Merlin. The same man that had stood by his side through thick and thin, at the very least he owed it to Merlin to let him explain. God knew Arthur himself had a slew of questions to ask.

So carefully schooling his features into a blank mask Arthur waited for Merlin to look him in the eyes. When Merlin's face turned Arthur felt an uneasy churning in the pit of his stomach to see the fear on Merlin's face.

Although Arthur instinctively knew Merlin wasn't evil, years of prejudice were hard to push away. He needed more proof. No matter how much he hated the fear on his friend's face he would not try to reassure Merlin.

"I need to know the truth Merlin. Everything...and then I'll judge you from there onwards."

Merlin's relief was palpable but Arthur's face remained stubbornly blank. Merlin slowly nodded his head and stated, "You might want to sit down for this. I'm guessing we won't be going back until you've heard the whole story correct?"

Arthur nodded his head and then gestured for Merlin to follow him. The Prince turned around to give a remorseful glance to his fallen Knights and then led them out of the cave towards the clearing where they'd left their horses. Their supplies were still there. He allowed Merlin to spread their bedrolls and scrounge up some firewood.

Once the camp was set up and they had a decent meal of bread and cheese in their system. Arthur patiently sat and waited for Merlin to speak.

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Merlin knew Arthur was waiting for him to speak, but he first needed to gather his thoughts. He didn't know where to begin. Should he start from the day he entered Camelot or should he say a little bit about his life in Ealdor? Should he hide Gaius's involvement or give Arthur the full truth?

Merlin surreptitiously watched Arthur. The prince's expression though guarded was still relatively open. Arthur was giving Merlin a chance to prove himself and Merlin had gotten tired of lying. He resolved himself to tell the complete truth.

Hopefully the only person Arthur would execute will be him. Maybe he'd leave Gaius out of it. However, Merlin still didn't know where to start. The choice was taken out of his hands when Arthur spoke up.

"When did you start practicing magic?"

Merlin smiled a little relieved 'I guess I'll be starting from Ealdor.'

With that thought Merlin took a deep calming breath and began his story.

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Arthur saw Merlin's indecision on his face. Whether it was because he didn't know where to start or he was having problems giving out the full truth, Arthur couldn't tell. He hoped it was the former and decided to give him a starting point.

"When did you start practicing magic?"

He was a little relieved when he saw Merlin smile 'So he didn't know where to start...'

Merlin inhaled deeply and said, "I was born with magic. I was moving things around before I could even talk. I really wasn't given much of a choice in the matter."

Arthur was surprised, "Born with it? I don't think I've heard of something like that."

Merlin replied, "It's the truth. My mother used to tell me I was special but I didn't really realize how special I was until I came to Camelot."

Arthur interrupted Merlin here, "Yes, that is something that has been bothering me. Why did you come to Camelot?"

Merlin took the interruption in stride, "I told you before remember, I didn't really fit in anymore. Besides my mother feared the consequences of people finding out about my powers and after she found out that Will knew I think her fear escalated. She then decided to send me to someone she could trust to not only help me but to also keep my secret."

Arthur saw Merlin hesitate. He had had his suspicions about Gaius and now it seemed to have been confirmed. He said, "I won't harm Gaius, if that's what you're worrying about."

Merlin's countenance was a mixture of surprise and gratefulness as he continued his story, "She sent me to Gaius. I didn't really know much about Camelot then, well I didn't really know much about anything outside of Ealdor. It had been the first time I had set foot out of the village. Though I was leaving my home I was still excited. However, that excitement came to an abrupt end when I saw a man publically executed for practicing magic."

Arthur winced; it was definitely not the first sight he would have liked to see as he entered a city for the first time. The execution probably hit closer to home than anything. He didn't remember much about it and it made him uncomfortable with how easily he had written off executions. Then again he still sometimes wrote them off as nothing, especially if they had to do with magic.

Merlin continued, "Not the best thing to see as you enter a city," unconsciously reiterating Arthur's thoughts.

"After that I met Gaius and with the execution still in my head I had made the decision to keep my magic to myself. But things didn't exactly go according to plan. Gaius was looking through some books that were kept on the high shelves in his chambers. When I called to him he leant too far back on the railing for the stairs and started falling."

He paused here again and Arthur didn't know why Merlin chose to stop talking at such a dramatic moment so he said, "Well? Don't just stop there!"

Merlin looked uncomfortable and said, "You have to understand Arthur my magic is instinctual. I was born with it so it tends to come really easily. I never learned magic until I came to Camelot," he paused again.

Arthur blinked not understanding until Merlin continued, "When I saw him falling I instantly slowed time and then pushed his bed under him so he fell onto it," before Merlin could go any further Arthur interrupted him again.

"Wait what? You slowed time? You can do that...show me"

Merlin looked apprehensive but Arthur waved his hand impatiently indicating that he do as he was told. Then he saw Merlin pick up a twig lying beside him and throw it forcefully into the air. Arthur followed the twig with his eyes. As the twig started falling it slowed down to a crawl.

Astonished Arthur looked back down at Merlin who was staring at Arthur not even paying attention to the twig. Arthur felt a trickle of dread, Merlin hadn't uttered a word. Not only that, he didn't need to keep his attention on the object to keep his magic working.

Some of his dread must have shown on his face because Merlin immediately released his hold on the twig and it dropped unceremoniously at Merlin's feet. The warlock kept his eyes on the stick. Arthur mentally shook himself. He had decided to give Merlin a chance, so he softly said, "Continue."

Merlin still didn't look up, just took a hold of the dropped twig and drew random patterns on the ground in front of him as he continued speaking.

"I had thought Gaius wouldn't realize what I had done, but he did. He asked me about it but I didn't really have much of an answer. I knew I had magic but I knew nothing else. When I told him I was born like this he said it was impossible. That didn't really help me understand myself any better."

Arthur stayed silent but his mind was reeling. It _was_ impossible. Merlin had performed magic without ever learning about it. He knew he could disregard everything said as lies but he had known Merlin for about two to three years now. He at the very least knew when Merlin lied.

Granted Merlin had been lying to Arthur about his magic, but Arthur had always suspected something off with Merlin. The boy couldn't lie to save his life so when he did attempt it Arthur always knew. But Merlin had perfected the art of evading questions because clearly lying hadn't been working. Arthur remembered times when he had asked Merlin questions that always ended with Arthur's temper riled up and his questions left unanswered and forgotten.

Evading questions and playing the part of a clumsy fool. Then again he suspected the clumsiness was natural because there were times when Merlin had looked resigned with himself when he had an unexpected fall. The face used to leave Arthur smirking and insulting his servant. Arthur smirked again lightening the mood unconsciously with his next words.

"You can do magic instinctively but you can't walk in a straight line without tripping over your own feet!"

Merlin's normal response would have been an insult, which would have led to light-hearted banter between the two but his fear it seemed hadn't completely abated. Arthur was slightly disappointed to see Merlin look up and smile sheepishly before looking back down at the twig again. Arthur sighed and told Merlin to continue.

"The next day Gaius had decided to test me it seems. He knocked over a bucket of water and I just stopped it from falling...well I stopped time I suppose...actually I'm not really sure how to explain it...I could show..." Merlin trailed off.

Arthur decided to take charge and said, "You don't have to show me I think I understand what you're trying to say. Continue."

Merlin continued, "I think that surprised Gaius even more but he decided to help me keep my magic a secret and said I could help him out for a while. That was when I met you." At this Arthur saw a genuine smile creep up on Merlin's face as the servant looked up at Arthur.

Arthur smirked. He remembered their first meeting. He had thought it was very interesting that someone had spoken up to him. He also remembered being slightly disappointed when it had turned out that Merlin had spoken up because he hadn't known who Arthur was. Not that it would have stopped the manservant.

"I seriously had thought you to be an ass!"

Arthur said, "I remember being very surprised that anyone had spoken that way to me. You would have done it anyways even if you knew I was a prince."

Merlin smirked and said, "Of course!"

Arthur was slightly relieved for the normalcy and he gestured for Merlin to continue.

"Well you already know that I was thrown into the dungeons for the effort. I remember hearing my name being called by someone. It felt like it was coming from underground...further underground than the dungeons. Before I could investigate Gaius came to let me out and I forgot about the voice. After my stint in the stocks Gaius decided to ask me about my magic.

He told me that he had never seen any sort of sorcerer like me. He explained to me that magic normally required spells and incantations which took years to study, but what I did was instinctive, elemental. He also told me about the Great Purge and about the dragon inside the caves deep beneath the castle."

Arthur listened attentively, Gaius was the one person Arthur knew and trusted to have a vast amount of knowledge about magic. According to Gaius, Merlin was special and completely unlike any other sorcerer. He didn't interrupt Merlin though just listened.

"Then I met you again!" Merlin said once more with a laugh as he looked at Arthur.

Arthur's mind shifted as he remembered their second meeting and Arthur laughed despite himself. Then he suddenly paused, "Did you use magic?"

Merlin smirked then said, "Well it wasn't cheating! You did say you'd been trained to kill since birth! The only thing I had was magic." At this Merlin's smile faltered slightly.

Arthur noticed and decided to stay silent; clearly something had happened after their second meeting.

Merlin sighed looking back down at the twig, "The reason I stopped after you'd fallen was because I saw Gaius in the crowd. Once we got back to his chambers I got lectured. But he didn't understand...I sometimes think he still doesn't fully understand. Magic to him was something you learned and mastered but for me I've had it all my life. It's a part of me, without it I'm nothing. It's like you suddenly ceasing to be a Prince."

At this Merlin looked directly at Arthur, "If I can't use magic I might as well die. That's what I told Gaius..."

Arthur blinked but said nothing. After a couple of seconds in silence Merlin looked back down at the twig in his hand and continued talking.

"Later that night I heard the voice again, this time I followed it. It led me deep beneath the castle where I met the Great Dragon for the first time. He told me about the reason why I was born with my powers."

Arthur was shocked Merlin had met the Great Dragon and spoken to it. Now Arthur had a small hunch, one that he tried to ignore but to no avail, 'Had Merlin released the dragon?' Before his thoughts could go further Merlin continued.

"He spoke of my destiny. Apparently you are the Once and Future King that will unite all of Albion and I'm supposed to be the warlock that helps you achieve that."

That made certain things clearer. Arthur remembered distinctly the couple of times Merlin had showed unwavering faith in Arthur being a great king. However, he wondered if Merlin only thought that because of what the dragon said. He knew Merlin wasn't the kind to follow anyone blindly.

"I didn't believe him of course. From what I'd seen of you I thought you were an idiot!" Arthur's eyes narrowed at that and he restrained himself from throwing his gauntlet at Merlin.

"The dragon didn't really say much more, just made it abundantly clear that I couldn't escape my destiny. As I said before, I didn't believe him. But then that whole debacle with Lady Helen happened and everything kind of smoothed out I guess."

Arthur looked confused but didn't say anything.

"When I saw her singing was putting people to sleep I covered my ears and then used my powers to drop the chandelier on her. Then when she tried to throw the knife at you I slowed time and pulled you away. But I did all of that without thinking. I didn't do it because of anything the dragon said. I just saved you and got turned into your manservant for all my trouble."

Arthur smirked a little, "You're probably the only one who isn't honoured by the position."

Merlin quipped back, "Yeah me and all your previous servants!"

Arthur smiled then asked, "This stuff took place quite some time ago, yet you still seem to remember it really well."

Merlin said, "Well that was a life altering moment I guess, so remembering it isn't that hard. The other stories may not have as much detail. Just a constant similarity..."

At this Merlin smirked and Arthur looked at him suspiciously before asking, "What similarity?"

Merlin tauntingly said, "Oh just me saving your royal behind each time!"

Arthur looked surprised and then said, "Alright continue I'd really like to know what happened now."

Merlin continued talking about Knight Valiant, "Once I finally got the dog to come to life I ran to the arena to use the spell on Valiant's shield, it worked and you know what happened after that."

Arthur nodded his head. Merlin continued, "That was actually the time I truly realized that you're not just a spoiled Prince. You went into that fight knowing you might die. That I guess left an impression on me. I need you to understand Arthur, I never liked you that much before, but the more I got to know you the more I saw the Once and Future King. And then before I knew it I started believing in the prophecy without even thinking about it."

Arthur kept a blank face but his body started to slowly relax as Merlin continued on with his story. Merlin told Arthur about the Afanc , the poisoned chalice incident where Arthur interrupted because of his curiosity.

"That was you! But you were dying!"

Merlin responded, "Yeah I didn't really know myself what I was doing and I don't remember much. But from what Gaius told me it seemed like I was in the cave with you. I guess that also sort of backed the dragon's statement of our bond."

Arthur, still a little surprised at Merlin's power, nodded his head. He was shocked to realize he'd just accepted it as Merlin's power but didn't feel even a sliver of dread.

Merlin continued talking and told Arthur about the Griffon, "One reason why Lancelot left was because he knew he hadn't done everything on his own. It went against his beliefs to take credit for something he hadn't done."

Arthur pondered that. He remembered being a little confused as to why Lancelot left, now that confusion cleared. It seemed by the time Merlin finished his story a lot of unexplained happenings were going to be...explained.

Merlin continued talking about Edwin a lot of that time Arthur didn't remember much about. Just remembered that Edwin had died and he'd been a sorcerer. He had assumed that Gaius had found a cure for the King, now it was clear that Merlin had saved the King's life. This fact drove home Merlin's innocence. He had saved the life of the very person that had sought to kill his kind for years.

Merlin continued talking about Sophia and Aulfric. That was another part of his life he didn't remember much about but he did interrupt Merlin a little triumphantly, "I knew you couldn't knock me out with a lump of wood!"

Merlin chuckled, "Well we couldn't exactly tell you what happened now could we. Besides, it was a small revenge for me going to the stocks so often! Your face was priceless!"

Arthur laughed; his tension had flown away with the wind. Merlin may be a sorcerer but he was not evil. He was however very powerful. That much was clear. But he was inexperienced, that it seemed was a good thing. Gaius was Merlin's rock, which Arthur was grateful for. Another shock came in the knowledge of Morgana being a seer. No wonder she had those nightmares.

Arthur was also surprised to notice his acceptance of the idea. He understood why Gaius had kept it from Morgana too. He himself had no idea of what his father would do if he found out about Morgana.

Merlin continued on with his story, he spoke of Mordred the druid boy Arthur saved next. This got Arthur thinking, 'That boy is going to kill me?' His incredulous look must have shown on his face because Merlin much more relaxed now and looking at Arthur while he was talking noticed it.

"Yeah, that was what I thought too. But the dragon had until then never led me astray so I believed him. That was why I didn't come on time to let you out of the dungeons. The boy kept calling to me I tried to ignore it but in the end I was worried about you I guess. So I ended up coming anyways. At that time I had hoped that maybe, just maybe the dragon was wrong. I didn't think he would be able to kill you since you saved his life...but..."

Arthur pushed him, "But?"

Merlin shook his head, "That's for later! We need to go in order!"

Arthur quirked an eyebrow, "You're enjoying this aren't you?"

Merlin smiled, "Well it's more relief than enjoyment, I'm happy to finally tell you everything I guess. Never realized how much of a burden it's been."

Arthur nodded his head and gestured for him to continue. Merlin did so. He told the Prince about the sword next. Arthur asked, "So that sword is only for me then?"

Merlin nodded, "Apparently...the dragon was angry when he heard Uther used it. I had no choice but to throw it into the lake. I'm sure of one thing though, when you need it I'll get it for you...somehow."

Arthur didn't say anything. He was lost in thought about a sword that powerful. He shot back to the present once Merlin continued talking. He went on to talk about the fight for Ealdor.

'That was what he had been trying to tell me back at the village.' Arthur knew what had happened so Merlin kept the story relatively short only telling Arthur about the parts that the Prince didn't know about.

Arthur also only kept half an ear on this part of the story his mind was going over the question of what he would have done had Merlin told him then. Arthur didn't know. As Merlin continued speaking Arthur decided it didn't really matter since it was in the past. No use dwelling on it.

Merlin then told Arthur about the unicorn. This too Arthur knew about but he had a question now, "Couldn't you have done something?"

Merlin shook his head, "I tried, but my powers wouldn't work. Besides I think it was a good lesson for both of us. I learned my magic couldn't solve everything and you learned of the purity of certain magical creatures. Of course I did learn my lesson early on with Gwen and the Afanc, but it was still a lesson learned."

Arthur nodded but he knew that the lesson hadn't truly and completely stuck with him. The lesson that had stuck after the unicorn incident was the one of Merlin's loyalty and friendship. Until that time Arthur hadn't realized how much the manservant had meant to him. Yes, he had gone to Ealdor to help him and stuff but the thought hadn't struck home until the unicorn incident.

Merlin then continued and told Arthur about the sorry incident of Gwen's father. This little walk down memory lane Arthur could have done without and he said as much, "Well I know what happens so can we skip this?"

Merlin smiled in understanding, "I know you don't like what happened but there are some parts of this that you might want to know..."

Arthur sighed, then fortified his emotions and gestured for Merlin to continue. Unfortunately, the rest of the story only served to shock Arthur. Morgana, the women he considered a sister, had tried to kill his father. He was even more shocked to hear that Merlin had been about to let Uther die.

"I wasn't comfortable with my decision Arthur. I swear. Every part of my body was against it. So I asked the only person that could give me proper advice in this situation, Gwen...till this day I have never forgotten what she told me."

Arthur waited with bated breath to hear what the women he loved had to say about his father, the man who had unjustly killed her own father.

"She told me that if Uther died she'd feel nothing, that he meant nothing to her. So I asked her, if she had the power to decide the life or death of Uther would she kill him...and she said no, she asked me what that would solve, she said it would just turn her into a murderer, it'd turn her into him"

Merlin was looking at Arthur intently when he said this. Arthur had to work very hard to restrain his emotions from showing on his face. He didn't know how he felt about Gwen thinking of his father as a murderer, then again how many people didn't. He was very sure that Merlin thought that himself.

After a pregnant pause Arthur said, "Is that why you've saved my father's life?"

Merlin nodded, "Well it's a part of it. The other part is you I guess. I know you'd hate magic even more if your father died because of it."

Arthur could see the sense in that statement and not willing to dwell on this painful past he gestured for Merlin to continue. He was relieved to find out that Morgana hadn't ended up killing Uther but saving him. That was a bright spot in that mess he assumed.

The story went on to the questing beast and Arthur learned why Merlin saved him time and time again. It wasn't just destiny or prophecies, Merlin considered Arthur a friend and Arthur wouldn't change that for the world. He also learned of Merlin's power. Clearly an angry Merlin wasn't a good thing.

He asked him, "Did you regret killing her?"

Merlin shrugged, "I didn't regret it. That was something that was unavoidable. Besides during the fight I might have let my anger control me but I did what needed to be done. She wouldn't have stopped trying to kill you and your father."

Arthur nodded and once again Merlin continued. The story turned to Cornelius Sigan. Arthur felt a twinge of guilt at how he had treated Merlin at that time. Merlin kept his eyes studiously on the ground through the recounting of the tale.

Arthur did wince slightly at the point where Merlin had to go back to the dragon for help, they'd left off on bad terms. Then blinked in shock at the promise Merlin gave the dragon to free him someday in exchange for the help.

However, Merlin rushed through that part and continued on to talk of the jousting tournament where Arthur had disguised himself to take part. This had both friends laughing in intervals and the tension eased slightly.

The story then took a turn for the worse once Morgana's powers as a witch were revealed, the dragon's warnings that Merlin had once again ignored to help Morgana, and the druids that Arthur had unknowingly slaughtered without cause.

Merlin stated slowly, "I just couldn't stand to see her like that. I wanted to tell her about my magic to help her but Gaius had warned me against it and so had the dragon. Although I didn't completely trust the dragon I knew one thing. He may have manipulated me but he never lied. Not once had he ever lied...that wasn't all...there was a part of me...an instinct that warned me against telling Morgana anything about my powers...but I couldn't leave her alone."

He looked so distraught that Arthur felt duty-bound to ease his aching conscience, "Merlin, you tried your best. You were trying to prevent the deaths of many innocent people. You didn't have a choice."

Merlin did look slightly relieved at Arthur's comforting words. Arthur then pushed him to continue so they could talk of something else. Merlin gladly took the bait and continued the story.

Unfortunately the next part was about Lancelot and Guinevere. Not what Arthur wanted to hear about, Merlin it seems knew that so he didn't get into the story at all.

He only said, "You already know what happened the only part where I helped was to bring the cage door down and lock Hengist in the cage with the wyldren."

Arthur nodded completely uncomfortable with the topic. However, Merlin to ease Arthur's suffering did add in Lancelot's parting remark and wisely choose not to add in Gwen's tears. Then the warlock hurried on to the next part of the story which was about the troll.

This story again helped to ease the tension. They laughed at certain parts and Arthur finally understood why Merlin had been in his room spying on Lady Catrina. Although most of the laughs were at his father's expense, Arthur didn't object. It was still funny, besides he himself had laughed in Uther's face about the whole incident.

Then the story took a nasty turn with the witchfinder. Arthur knew this story was probably not easy for Merlin. He was surprised to note the witchfinder, though he had faked the witnesses, had been right on the mark about who had conjured the horse from the smoke.

Merlin said, "Even after the stuff with Gwen, I don't think it really hit home until Gaius. Making shapes out of smoke..." He gave a bitter smile

Arthur looked slightly uncomfortable but Merlin continued and at least there was a bright spot of when the witchfinder was caught. They had a little laugh at what Merlin had done!

After this Merlin said, "Well next was Morgause..." He trailed off ominously.

Arthur quirked a brow, "That one I know what happens...unless there is some random magical input you had...though I can't see where that would be."

Merlin smiled, "Hey! Getting that rope to tie around the way it did without letting Gaius know was hard!"

Arthur laughed imagining the situation but Merlin's smile slid off his face. Arthur's laugh quietened at that and he asked with a little suspicion entering his voice, "There's something else isn't there?"

Merlin shifted, his eyes darting everywhere, "No, nothing I suppose...um...well actually..." He sighed heavily, distressed.

Arthur's eyes narrowed as his mind ran over the events of that time. It wasn't hard to bring up the images, it was the reason why he truly loathed Morgause. Then he paused at the disconcerting image of him standing on top of his father with a sword at his chest Merlin standing on the side telling him to stop.

Arthur cautiously asked, "It was an illusion wasn't it? My mother and what she said...none of that was real correct?"

Merlin's panicked glance gave Arthur all the answer he needed. Then his anger skyrocketed and he shot to his feet. Arthur turned enraged blue eyes on Merlin.

"Why did you stop me?"

"Arthur, calm down..."

"NO! Everything he's done...all of it...how could you stand there and watch it happen. You shouldn't have stopped me! He murdered my mother!" He paused remembering the rest of the incident.

Merlin took advantage of that pause, "Arthur, you don't understand...you wouldn't have been able to..."

Arthur started pacing the forest floor, "He lied to me! He gave me his word! Did he throw away his honour as well? While he indiscriminately killed all those innocent people to appease his own guilt!"

At this point Merlin had also shot to his feet and came to stand in front of Arthur. The prince stopped pacing but his rage hadn't abated.

Merlin quietly said, "Your father didn't lie..."

That caught Arthur's attention, "What?"

Merlin inhaled then said, "Your father swore to you that he loved you're mother and he would never willingly hurt her. And he didn't Arthur. Your father went to Nimueh for help but neither of them knew whose life would be taken. Your father only knew that a life must be given, that's it. Your mother didn't know the whole story Arthur. Your father never betrayed your mother he loved her too much for that."

Arthur stood still, his anger turning into bitter sadness, "He still killed all of those people...Merlin all of them were killed just to soothe his guilt and grief. Since the outcome wasn't what he wanted, he took out his anger on magic."

Merlin smiled sadly, "I know Arthur, but what is done is done. You can't change that. You will one day make a great King, then you can change the laws and my kind can have a better tomorrow."

Arthur softly asked, "Were you not even a little tempted?"

With the same sad smile in place Merlin said, "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been. But I know you Arthur; you would have never forgiven yourself if you had gone through with it. Plus I don't want you ascending the throne with your father's blood on your hands. You're guilt and grief would have eaten you alive."

Arthur could see the point to that. He turned and slid down to the forest floor with his back against a tree, emotionally spent, "Please tell me the rest of the story isn't as bad as this part..."

Arthur had tried to lighten the tone but unfortunately Merlin's face spoke volumes of the despair that he'd been through.

Merlin quietly said, "We don't have to talk about it anymore..."

Arthur shook his head, "No, we do this now...whatever has been hurting you, this time we share the burden." He patted the floor beside him and saw Merlin sit down.

Merlin smiled and then quietly told Arthur about Freya. Arthur's heart went out to Merlin and he apologized, "I'm sorry...I know you loved her but..."

Merlin nodded, "It's ok...it wasn't meant to be...besides you didn't have a choice just as much as she didn't"

Arthur tried to lighten the mood again, "Well it's good to know you don't think I'm fat!"

Merlin smirked, "Actually..."

Then Arthur cuffed his head lightly, "One more word about that!" That got a small chuckle from the warlock. Arthur again motioned to continue. This time the story thankfully was enough to lighten the mood. Merlin told him about Vivian.

"Oh that was good. I remember you told me I was enchanted but you hid her in the closet!"

The friends laughed a great deal longer before the tone turned sombre again with Morgana's betrayal. Arthur was saddened to know that Mordred had been with Alvarr that time. He was also not happy with the end result. It seemed to have been the push Morgana needed to turn to the other side so to speak.

He was also shocked to learn that Merlin knew how to operate the Crystal of Neahtid. He was even more shocked to learn that the vision Merlin received was of the dragon destroying Camelot. 'But if he saw that vision could he really have released the dragon?'

That question was answered though as Merlin's story moved on to the Knights of Medhir. Arthur's shock reached epic proportions when Merlin with tears in his eyes told him of what he had done to stop the Knights.

Arthur opened his mouth to stop Merlin from continuing but it seemed Merlin was in a world of his own. As he told Arthur of freeing the dragon, the guilt of the destruction that it caused, of Balinor being his father, then of losing him so soon after finding him, and of how he had let the dragon go in the end.

Merlin fell silent after that tears running down his cheeks but not a sound leaving his lips. Arthur didn't know what to say. He had never been good at comfort. So he raised one hand and left it on Merlin's shoulder. Arthur finally understood Merlin's odd behaviour in those days. The Prince couldn't understand what kept Merlin going anymore.

Clearly the warlock was far stronger emotionally than Arthur had ever given him credit for.

Merlin softly stated, "Sometimes I think I was responsible for what has happened to Morgana. Do you know that for the year that we were looking for her she was with Morgause. Their half-sisters you know I didn't tell you that part. Morgause was smuggled out of Camelot by Gaius and given to the priestesses of the Old Religion when she had been born. Your father was led to believe that she had died."

Arthur wasn't even shocked anymore. There were so many new revelations being thrown at him that nothing truly amazed him anymore. But one part did stick out, "She was with Morgause...then is she still on our side...?"

Some part of him already knew the answer to that but another part, the naive hopeful part didn't agree with that answer and sought for another. However, Merlin's nod erased all doubt. Arthur's heart broke. He had considered Morgana a sister.

How was he to face her now?

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**A/N: **This is where I'm stopping it this time around. The next part will be about season 3. I'm going to go into detail about Arthur's emotions throughout the series, like I did with seasons 1 and 2.


	2. Part 2

**A/N: **Hello m'dears! Sorry for the wait. There will be certain ideas in this part of the story that relate to my ideas of Merlin never telling Morgana of his magic. This very same idea exists in my other story "Bonds of Destiny" so anyone reading that will see certain similarities. Anyways, to people who don't read my other story please do! It will give me great pleasure. Also leave a review!

**Spoilers: **Up to Season 3 episode 11

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Merlin".

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**Scenes from the Past - Part 2**

Merlin continued his tale and told Arthur about the past couple of months after Morgana had been brought back to Camelot. He started off with the time that Morgana returned. Arthur quietly listened to Merlin's account of the tale.

He realized where Merlin had disappeared to those few days. He was shocked and slightly relieved to know that the dragon was on Merlin's side.

He said, "Thank god for the dragon or your inability to walk quietly in a forest would have cost you your life!"

Merlin looked at him chagrined, "Hey! I would have been able to stop her, but I didn't want her knowing about my magic. Besides, although the dragon and even Gaius always tell me I'm powerful it doesn't mean I believe them. Morgause could know some spells I never had any idea about!"

Arthur gave a small smile and gestured for Merlin to continue. He had doubted Morgana's treachery at first but when he learned that she was responsible for his father's madness, he felt the first spike of anger towards her. Then the anger grew at hearing of the army of the dead.

He asked Merlin, "Why didn't you say something?"

Merlin looked at Arthur incredulously, "Would you have believed me? Your father, I know for sure, would have thrown me into the dungeons or had me killed! Morgana was foolish to threaten me about that, I wouldn't have told the King. It was the word of a servant against that of his ward."

Arthur winced. His father was blind to Morgana's faults, especially after the year that Morgana had been assumed to be kidnapped. It was also true that if Merlin had mentioned Morgana's betrayal to the Prince then the servant wouldn't have been believed.

The friends then had a good laugh when the entire story of the goblin and also Gwaine had been revealed. It took away some of the anger and anxiety of Morgana's betrayal away from Arthur's mind.

"You didn't take away the goblin's spell from me! I had the laugh of a donkey for about a day or so after that! I should have you muck out the stables for that!"

Merlin laughed heartily and said, "Oh come on! It was too good!"

Arthur narrowed his eyes, "I defended you from that goblin!"

Merlin smiled and said, "Thank you for that! I actually thought you didn't believe me when I said that Gaius had been taken over."

Arthur looked away and said, "Yes, well certain things had seemed off with Gaius. Also you normally make just accusations. I just didn't have proof to stop you getting thrown in the dungeons."

Merlin smirked, "Well...was that a compliment?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, "Don't flatter yourself! You're normally a complete idiot!"

Merlin laughed and Arthur changed the topic by saying, "So what happened next? I think the next part has to do with Morgana's birthday right?"

The mood turned solemn and Arthur listened to Merlin in horrified silence about the images from the Crystal Cave. Merlin continued by talking about Morgana falling down the stairs and how it had been the warlock's fault.

"I couldn't watch everyone's grief...it was too much to take. I think your father's grief hit me hardest of all."

Arthur was shocked speechless about the revelation that Morgana was his half-sister. The Prince then listened in continued horror at what Merlin had done. Arthur flinched slightly at the deadened tone Merlin used to talk about the way the warlock abused his gift as a dragon lord.

Merlin fell silent after stating Morgana's attempt on Uther's life which followed the images shown in the Crystal Caves.

Merlin softly said, "I didn't stop anything from happening. I ended up helping the future along. If I hadn't stopped her and almost had her killed, I don't think she would be trying so hard to kill you now."

Arthur resignedly said, "You did what you thought was right Merlin. None of it is your fault. In that situation I would have probably done the same thing. It proves that even with the amount of power you have at your disposal it hasn't corrupted you in the slightest."

Merlin smiled and said, "Thank you...are you alright though? I didn't exactly want to tell you about Morgana's lineage but I didn't really want to lie to you anymore.

Arthur nodded and said, "I think it is better that I found out this way I suppose. I mean I would have appreciated it more had my father been truthful with me, but...as you said before...it's in the past. I can't change it but I can make a better tomorrow."

Merlin grinned widely and Arthur continued, "This whole vision of the future stuff isn't as simple as it appears is it?"

Merlin lost his smile as he shook his head, "I hate it really, especially now after the crystal cave incident. This is why I never use the Crystal of Neahtid, even though it is lying in the castle."

Arthur nodded, "Don't worry I don't think I'll make you use that power. It doesn't seem very reliable. It may help but some things are meant to occur and I don't think any of us can do anything to stop it."

Arthur then gestured for Merlin to continue the story and the warlock did just that. Neither was comfortable with the topic since it spoke of the future, which at the moment was uncertain at best.

The mood turned again at the story of Princess Elena, who was a changeling. Both friends had smiles on their faces at the end of the story, but once again the mood turned solemn as Morgana's knowledge of the relationship between Arthur and Gwen was realized.

Merlin stated his account of the days that led up to their rescue of Elyan. Arthur was slightly shocked and angry that Morgana would turn on Gwen. The maidservant had been nothing but loyal to Morgana, Gwen didn't deserve to be treated so badly.

Then Merlin spoke about Morgana's attempt on Arthur's life. Arthur then realized why during his quest to the Fisher King`s kingdom he had felt so tired. The bracelet, or the Eye of the Phoenix, had been siphoning energy from him since the time he started the quest.

Arthur asked cautiously, "Was that the reason for you coming after me that time? Also why did you bring Gwaine along? Does he know?"

Merlin shook his head to the negative to answer the last question, "No, Gwaine doesn't know. After everything that happened with Gaius and the witchfinder I've been far more careful about my gift. I realized that many people did not trust magic at all and feared it. Your father succeeded in that more than anything..."

Arthur looked away from Merlin at that and the warlock trying to erase the tension answered the other questions.

"I wouldn't have come after you had you not mentioned Morgana's bracelet. I felt the magic in the bracelet and when you said that Morgana gave it to you, I suspected a new plot to take your life. So Gaius and I researched on the bracelet and when we found out what it was, I decided to set out after you. Gaius, due to the dangers of the Perilous Lands, warned me against going alone, so I looked for Gwaine. It seems though we were expected to come..."

Arthur remembered what Grettir had said when he had arrived at the bridge.

"That's what he had meant. Grettir had told me about magic and courage, but I hadn't understood at the time."

Merlin nodded, "He said something similar to us too. He told me that I was meant to come there because it was my mission."

At Arthur's confused look Merlin gave the full account of what occurred at the Fisher King's lands. The Prince was slightly shocked to find that the King had been alive. He was also surprised at the ease in which Merlin spoke of killing the King and he said as much.

Merlin gave him a serious look and said, "He had been in suffering Arthur he wanted to die. His duty had been fulfilled."

Arthur seemed to understand that to some degree. The story was then continued to the part about Alice the woman, according to Arthur, who had tried to kill his father. However, Merlin's side of the story was different.

Arthur then realized Merlin's hesitation and depression during that time. Although the 'prisoner' had escaped he was not angered by the conclusion. In fact he was glad for it that meant there was someone else other than Merlin that could be counted on in the future.

The story then continued and served to raise Arthur's ire at Morgana further. He was almost at the point of marching towards Camelot, sword drawn out, and killing Morgana then and there. It was Merlin's steady hand on his shoulder that stopped him making a foolish mistake. However, his anger was not appeased.

"How could she do something like that? I understand that she thought she had no one to count on in the castle but why turn on Guinevere at all? Morgana considered her a friend!"

Merlin said, "She has changed Arthur. She isn't the same person she used to be anymore. She believes everyone in the castle to be of Uther's opinion and has unfortunately forgotten the times you, me, Gwen, and Gaius have tried to stop your father from his magical rages. Sometimes I can't help but wonder at what would happen if I had told her about my magic."

Arthur quietened at that. He knew Merlin felt incredibly guilty about the issue with Morgana. However, Arthur also knew that Merlin telling Morgana of his magic wouldn't have stopped anything.

"Merlin if you believe telling her about your magic would have made any changes then you're wrong." At Merlin's surprised look Arthur elaborated his statement.

"Morgana since she was very young has a type of personality not seen in many women. She is strong-willed, independent, and there are times where you see her manipulative nature. If you had told her then she would have forced you into helping her free many prisoners, which would not only endanger you but Gaius as well. She might even have tried to influence and black-mail you into joining up with Morgause."

Merlin looked slightly shocked but Arthur didn't let him speak and continued, "I know she was a very nice person Merlin. She was...is after all my sister. I've known her for a long while much longer than you have. But I've also known that she's had a slightly darker side all my life but I've ignored it. Now, though I regret that more than ever."

Merlin blinked then endeavoured to divert Arthur by saying, "Well you weren't exactly the brightest of people around that time. You were fonder of bullying and making a complete prat of yourself."

Arthur's hand automatically rose up and cuffed Merlin in the head. The warlock gave a small smile which Arthur returned and the tension was soon released from the Prince's shoulders. He knew Morgana was not to be trusted anymore but he also knew the prudence of never letting her know about his knowledge.

Arthur then picking up on the need to lighten things up said in exasperation, "And you! What were you thinking? You use a spell to turn yourself into an old man and then can't undo it!"

Merlin gave a sheepish grin, "Well I didn't look into it completely. I was in a hurry!"

Arthur said, "I knew that old man was familiar! It was only when you used magic that my suspicion had cleared. And what sort of name is Dragoon?"

Arthur was laughing by this time and Merlin indignantly said, "Hey! I was trying to help both you and Gwen! Besides," he added embarrassed, "I didn't think of a name...and that was all that came out..."

Arthur continued laughing because he was remembering the rest of the strange events of that time and Merlin having enough of being made fun of decided to continue his story forcing the Prince to settle down. He started talking about the recent tournament, where apparently there had been a sorcerer in the midst and Merlin stopped him going too far with his magic. Then Merlin stopped talking.

Arthur knew once he returned to Camelot he would have to be more on guard than ever since the enemy was within the walls rather than outside of it. As his mind was going over everything that he'd been told one thought took precedence. Arthur owed a lot to Merlin.

"Merlin...thank you." He left it at that. He wasn't one for heartfelt apologies and thank yous. He normally didn't even say them. He hoped though that Merlin understood.

Merlin smiled and Arthur knew he understood what that one thank you encompassed. The friends spent the rest of the time in silence. Arthur's head whirring with recent discoveries, he came to a sudden stop as something hit him.

"Merlin, remember what Gaius said about the questing beast?"

Merlin's confused expression showed he didn't understand what Arthur was talking about. So the prince elaborated, "Gaius said that the questing beast foreshadows a time of great upheaval. So doesn't that mean something very big is going to happen?"

Merlin's confusion cleared as he said, "Well I've known something bad is going to happen for a while now. The dragon's words after I forced him to give me the power to cure Morgana and then the Fisher King giving me the water from the Lake of Avalon, warning me of dark days to come." Merlin shrugged.

Arthur nodded, "Well I guess the dragon and the Fisher King are two people whose warnings you must not ignore. You've ignored them before and it definitely did you no good."

Merlin nodded, a slight bit of shame creeping up onto his face. Arthur continued, "Well this time around no matter what happens you won't have to face it alone."

Merlin turned to Arthur shocked, "So then you won't..."

Arthur rolled his eyes, "Have you ever seen me not repay a debt?"

Merlin's eyes turned sad, "Oh..."

Arthur though continued talking looking straight ahead with a slight smirk on his face, "Besides, through the stories I've heard, you've proven yourself to be a complete idiot! I'm surprised how you've managed to keep your head on your shoulders at times. You know you could have been killed...what are you smiling about you half-wit?"

Merlin's smile turned to a laugh as he said, "Well _sire_, I'm glad to see that you care."

Arthur's smirk vanished as he spluttered, "Where did you get that from?"

The banter kept continuing well into the night after which the friends fell asleep. Both reassured in the trust that they had for the other and although the Questing Beast that was slain foreshadowed dark days to come, the friends are comforted with the fact that they will not be alone in facing those days.

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**A/N: **I hope you enjoyed the rewritten version of this story. Please review that is how authors like me get feedback about the story! I hope I didn't bore anybody through this retelling!


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